National Coffee Day AND My Birthday

Yep, another year older today. Gonna get a free coffee from Dunkin', and maybe a free donut from Duck Donuts, so there's that.

Truth be told, I'm not bothered by birthdays. No, not even mine. It hasn't been the easiest year (and you're right, this is my first 'blog post since New Year's, no one seemed to miss 'em much), but it hasn't been 2020, either, and plenty of fun times were had and great trips were taken and amazing memories were made. With more to come shortly.

Two years ago today, I released "She." One year ago, she, the woman I love, gave me a left-handed ukulele for my birthday. Less than two months later, I'd started putting together some ideas for a new song that would include some ukulele. Several months after that, with no lyrics or even a title yet, I put this up on TikTok as a teaser. (Yeah, I'm on TikTok now. No, I haven't done any challenges. Yet.)

A title did eventually come to me: "Spark Rekindled." And I've written the lyrics, though they're subject to change; while I've figured out most of the music, there might still be some tweaking to come, which could require additional tweaking to the lyrics. Overall, I'm pleased with what I've written, which is, of course, about her, or rather about us.

Having dithered over said lyrics, I finished them last night. There are a few lines borrowed and/or repurposed from other songwriters (feel free to look for them here), and even from myself, but mostly they're new and true. I enjoy throwing words together. I really do. These took me a while because there was a lot I wanted to say, and I wanted to say it well. I could easily double the length of the lyrics, but nobody needs that, and it would probably halve the quality of the finished song. Which, yes, I do still need to finish. (Sorry to keep you waiting, honey.) In the past, I've tended to record songs pretty quickly once I've figured out the tune and the words. This one has been slow-brewed, and poked and prodded a bit. Hopefully, I'll get that recording by the end of the year, and then there are two or three other ideas that have been floating around in my head for a while that should really get outta there.

Anyway, whether you wish me a happy birthday or not, whether you like or listen to my music or not, I wish you a good day, and get yourself a free coffee if you can. Oh, and check out this AI-generated artwork from DALL·E 2. Sign up for your own free account if you're into that kinda thing.

An impressionist guitar with a coffee mug amid birthday celebrations

September Morn

Watching September approach this year, I was filled with a sense of... well, not dread, really. Wariness, and weariness, I suppose. While I've always considered fall my favorite season, and September is my birth month, it's been a more depressing month these past several years. You'd think Suicide Prevention Awareness Month would be a fun and cheerful time, but...

The age thing really doesn't bother or faze me. I still mostly feel like the 18-year old cool but awkward, respectful but punk kid I've been for a long time now. A bit less naïve and a bit more world-weary, even though I used to describe myself as the world's youngest curmudgeon; some grey in my hair, and a few more lines in my face, but I just can't think of myself as a 50-year old, even if that's what I am now. I wasn't upset by the thought of growing another year older, I was upset by the thought of growing another year older and still feeling lonely.

This year has turned out much different than we'd all anticipated. Well, this September turned out much different than I'd anticipated, in a good way. On New Year's Eve 2019, I got a fortune cookie with a slip of paper inside which read, "If you want it... take it." I'm not one to take fortunes or horoscopes seriously, but I did interpret this as a positive way to approach life, even if I didn't implement it as well or as often as I'd intended. As this month was beginning, however, I found myself confronted with an opportunity I really hadn't expected... and I wanted it, and I took it.

And now I'm happy again, truly happy (and not just for a few hours or a day or three) for the first time in years. Today's my birthday, and I've got a dinner date tonight. I wrote and recorded a new song in under three weeks, and it will be released shortly (yes, on Apple Music and Spotify and iHeartRadio and Pandora and so on). And so begins another chapter in the Andersen Silva autobiography.

RenFaire Gathering?

I'm asking my local(ish) friends to join me on my birthday, Sunday, Sept. 29th, at the New York Renaissance Faire in Tuxedo. Yes, it's a drive. No, it's not free, or cheap. Yes, the weather is unpredictable. But, hey, I'm gonna go (though if the weather looks like it'll be particularly unpleasant as the date approaches, I might switch to Saturday instead), and I'd really like to see friends there, too. Doesn't mean we'd all have to spend the entire day together, but it would be nice to be able to hang out at various points during the afternoon.

OK, the Vixens En Garde are sadly not appearing at the NYRF anymore, but I do enjoy this pic of me surrounded by bodacious babes with blades... Anyway, please consider comin' out for my birthday. You don't have to buy me a drink or any food on a stick, just show up. And let me know!

Miss You, Dad / Saudades de Pai

My father would have been 75 today. (And what would have been his 51st wedding anniversary was two weeks ago, and he and my mom first came to the US 49 years ago last month.) While he was already in the final stages of his fight against lymphoma, which had metastasized, by the time my parents traveled to Brazil at the end of last year, catching pneumonia there proved to be too much for his weakened immune system to handle. He fought it, but in the end, he lost the battle in early February.

Meu pai teria 75 anos hoje. (E o que teria sido seu 51º aniversário de casamento foi há duas semanas, e ele e minha mãe vieram pela primeira vez aos EUA há 49 anos no mês passado.) Embora ele já estivesse nos estágios finais de sua luta contra o linfoma, que havia metastizado, quando meus pais viajaram para o Brasil no final do ano passado, contrair pneumonia provou ser demais para o enfraquecimento do sistema imunológico. Ele lutou, mas no final, ele perdeu a batalha no início de fevereiro.

I am glad he got to Brazil one last time, and got to see some family and friends, and be entombed there with his parents, my grandparents. I am sorry I'll never get to have another beer with him, discuss politics (American, Brazilian, and other) with him, enjoy a hot summer day with him, try to take a picture of him (the man did not like to be photographed). But I'm happy for the time we did have together, and the things he taught me, and the things I taught him.

É bom que ele foi ao Brasil uma última vez, e tenha visto a família e os amigos, e seja sepultado lá com seus pais, meus avós. Eu lamento que eu nunca mais vou ter outra cerveja com ele, discutir política (americana, brasileira e outras) com ele, curtir um dia quente de verão com ele, tentar tirar uma foto dele (o homem não gostou de ser fotografado). Mas estou feliz pelo tempo que tivemos juntos, pelas coisas que ele me ensinou e pelas coisas que ensinei a ele.

I've started working on a few musical ideas which I think are going to gel into a New Age-y kind of song, the sort my dad loved. It's a little out of my comfort zone, but I think it would make a fitting tribute, and I'm looking forward to getting it all worked out.

Eu comecei a trabalhar em algumas idéias musicais que eu acho que vão se transformar em um tipo de música "New Age," o tipo que meu pai amava. É um pouco fora da minha "zona de conforto," mas acho que seria um tributo adequado, e estou ansioso para fazer tudo funcionar.

Birthday Blues

Five years and eight days ago, I stood at the edge of a precipice over the Housatonic River in Connecticut's Lovers Leap State Park, and for ten minutes or so I pondered joining the mythical leapers at the bottom. Melodramatic, I know, but that was my frame of mind. It was what was supposed to have been my wedding day, before my ex- called off the engagement and then the relationship itself a few months earlier. It was also a few days before my birthday, which I hadn't been expecting to be spending alone.

Anyway (SPOILER ALERT!), I didn't jump. I didn't head out there intending to jump, but yeah, I knew I was unhappy and I didn't know if I could deal with it anymore. I've never made a suicide attempt, never made up my mind to make one, but I think it's safe to say that that day was the closest I've ever been.

Eight days ago, I went back. Guess you could call it another antiversary. I stood near the edge for a while, but although I was not feeling especially happy, I was also not considering jumping this time. I brought a notebook and a pen with me and started writing the lyrics to a song that's been itching in the back of my mind for a while now, and I sat and relished the trees and the squirrels and the birds and the spiders for a good hour. 

Today's my birthday. Go on, sing it, I'll wait... While I believe I'm over the loss of that relationship, I'm still not especially happy. Feeling alone doesn't help, but I suppose it's likely that I suffer from some sort of something. Depression has paid multiple visits throughout my life, though whatever I am, I guess you'd call me "high-functioning." I don't, can't, lock myself away for days at a time. I do get out, I do catch up with friends, I do visit places on my own. I go to work every day and get some complex stuff done. I've certainly had some great times in the past five years, and I expect I've still got more coming. I can genuinely smile and laugh sometimes. I know that I've got family and friends that love me. Doesn't fully chase the blues away, though. I used to have a kind of zen, and it's been largely gone lo these past five years.

Regardless, this is who and what I am. As is all the rage on Facebook these days, I decided to start a little charity fundraiser for my birthday, and chose the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline as the recipient of the hoped-for $200. I'm pleased and grateful that several of my friends donated and put me over that goal ahead of schedule. Thank you, ladies, and thank you all for the birthday wishes, and for reading this far.

Birthday Plans with the Killer?

Want to do something for my birthday in September? Yes, my last 'blog post was all about how I mostly end up going to concerts and events on my own, but that's not generally because I don't like to have company.

I've been thinking about going to a Jerry Lee Lewis concert for several years now, but I've decided against it several times simply because they're a bit on the expensive side. On September 29th, though, the Killer will be at B.B. King's in New York again, and I've determined that I'm going this time. One, because too damned many good musicians are dying (David Bowie and Chuck Berry I never got to see, and Prince and Chris Cornell I wish I could see again), and two, because not only is September 29th my birthday... it's Jerry Lee's, too. 'Course, he's 35 years older...

Yeah, tickets aren't cheap. General admission is $125, and frankly, what I'd like to do is reserve a booth for four or for six at $165 a pop. Yes, those prices are just to get in. I know. I'm going to this show regardless, but if I end up going alone, I'll probably just get a general admission ticket. If three, or five, of my friends are willing to commit to shelling out $165 each to join me, however, then I'll see about getting a reserved booth when the Amex presale starts on Wednesday. Or if you want to go the general admission route and save the forty bucks, that's fine, too, though that is first come, first served.

Not beggin' anyone here.  ;-)  Like I said, I'm going either way. I know the admission's steep, and I know Jerry Lee Lewis' music is not to everyone's taste, so if you want to pass, no big deal. If you want to join me, though, there'll be a whole lotta shakin' going on! And maybe great balls of fire. I hear there's an ointment for that, though. Heh.

It's My Birthday; You Won't Believe What I Do Next!

It's my birthday, and I'm giving you a gift: an MP3 version of "The Bite," the first single from my forthcoming album, I'll Live.

"The Bite" was the first song written/created by Greta's Unmentionables, the band for whom I play rhythm guitar (whenever we can get together).  The first day the four of us went into a rehearsal studio together in March 2014, I played them the opening riff, and we quickly built a song around it.  I finished up the lyrics later.  While we still haven't recorded our definitive version yet, I decided (with the band's blessing) to cover the song myself.  Let me know what you think!

Thirty-five of I'll Live's forty-two tracks are completed.  Yes, it's a big frakkin' album!  Another three are mostly done, and I should be able to finish the last few shortly.  While I do intend to create more music in the future, I may opt for EP and single releases rather than putting out another album, so I wanted to make this definitive.  The better songs from my 2004 debut, Joy in the New, will be included alongside tunes I've recorded since then.

For those who haven't really heard my music before... it's my music.  I've heard that my voice sounds a bit like Lou Reed or Frank Zappa or early David Byrne.  My sound has been compared to Talking Heads, R.E.M., Pete Townshend...  I think you can definitely hear certain influences in certain parts of certain songs, but in the end, I'm pretty sure I only sound like me.  I don't have a polished voice.  I don't play a lot of lead or solo guitar.  I do like to dabble in different genres of music.  I'm OK with all of this.

Oh, right, the song...  You can download "The Bite" here at ReverbNation until September ends; you'll still be able to stream it on the site after that.  I hope you like the track (which I will probably make available as an official single soon), and I'd love to hear your feedback.  And I won't bug you with another newsletter until the album's ready, before 2017 is upon us...

Happy birthday to me, and 'til next time... rock on!

42 and 43

I think I can safely say that this is the first birthday where I actually feel older than I did the day before.  Still, even though there's a hole in my heart that goes all the way to China, I've had a fun and relaxing week, eaten some great meals, seen some lovely sights, and caught up with a few old friends.

My vacation (which I began thinking of as my "honey-less-moon") started on Friday the 20th, and when I arrived at Budget to pick up my rental car, I discovered they didn't have any compact cars, despite the reservation I'd made (which brought to mind a scene from "Seinfeld," though I chose not to make my own scene).  I ended up with a shiny red Chevrolet Cruze instead, for an additional $5 a day, which was an acceptable resolution to me.

Some highlights from that long weekend: gazing out over New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania while enjoying the silence at High Point State Park; cruising eastbound along US Route 6, the Grand Army of the Republic Highway, toward the Palisades Interstate Parkway and the Tappan Zee Bridge; being told to leave Sleepy Hollow Cemetery because I was wandering the grounds after hours (though not before I got this picture):

The gravestone of "Legend of Sleepy Hollow" author Washington Irving

having a few drinks at O'Malley's Bar in Nyack (any fans of Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds' album Murder Ballads?); watching the Vixens En Garde and the Washing Well Women at the New York Renaissance Faire; taking in the view from Lovers Leap, CT; relaxing in the jacuzzi in my room at the Hotel Vienna in the Catskills Saturday night; doing 95 on 95; visiting New London, Groton, and Mystic in Connecticut; seeing the grave of another author, one Howard Phillips Lovecraft, in Providence, Rhode Island; consuming more beers at Trinity Brewhouse; devouring chocolate French toast at Zaftigs on Monday morning; and revisiting Walden Pond.

Some lowlights from the weekend: seeing the Kissing Bridge at the Renaissance Faire and ruminating over how Laura and I took pictures on it the past two years; seeing a sad look cross a little green faery's face at the Faire when she saw the BulletHole Heart T-shirt I was wearing (it only got sadder when I acknowledged that "there's a hole in my heart");

The shirt in question

discovering that I couldn't walk over the Lovers Leap Bridge because of a missing decking plate; and running into traffic in Brookline, MA (due to a gas main break) on my way to breakfast and Clifton, NJ (due to a car fire) on my way home.

Before hitting that last pocket of traffic, though, I stopped at Best Buy to get myself an early birthday present: the Google Nexus 7, which I have decided to call "Nixie" in honor of geek girl Nixie Pixel.  I've already added several apps and done some tweaking, and I'm liking the mini-tablet very much.  It was nice to see the birthday greetings from Google on it this morning:

And yes, I'm a fan of all things Apple, but I decided to go with the Nexus rather than the iPad Mini because a) it's cheaper, and b) I've wanted to play around with Android for a while now.  Jelly Bean 4.3 seems pretty cool so far.  While I've always been reluctant to read books in any format other than, well, books, I've started re-reading Thoreau's Walden (since I was just there) on the Nexus 7, and thus far I'm pretty comfortable with the format.

I headed back to Tarrytown on Tuesday in the company of one of my former Talented And Gifted Students classmates, Sue, to meet with another, Joycelynn, and the three of us had a wonderful dinner (and two pitchers of sangria) at Bistro 12, and did some thinking about the reunion we want to plan for the spring.  On Friday, another longtime friend, Dawn, and I walked over the Brooklyn Bridge, rollerbladed from one end of Central Park to the other, and downed some guacamole and margaritas at Rosa Mexicano.  If you want to see more pictures from all these travels, they're posted here, so enjoy!

I saw my parents yesterday, watched an amazing film last night, "The Legend of 1900," on the recommendation of a friend... and here we are.  It's my 43rd birthday.  I finished recording "So Much Further" this past week, too, and uploaded the song today; please give it a listen here, and I'd love to hear what you think, and if you wanted to share it with friends, so much the better.  C'mon, it's a free birthday gift to me.  ;-)  I've gone back to finishing the lyrics to "They Might Be Roses," and I plan to finish writing another song called "42" shortly, so there should be at least another recording or two before the end of this year, as long as I can stay focu-

Dates

Ten years ago today, Gina and I started our relationship together, though I don't think either of us realized right away that that was what was happening.  It didn't last forever, as I'd hoped, nor did it maintain the initial burning intensity for more than... I don't know, the first eight months or so, but it was a big part of my life.  Anyway, that's long past, and I'm not commemorating it or anything; I mention all this only because the date's still stuck in my head.  I've always been enchanted by numbers in general, and particularly by dates, and they tend to stubbornly implant themselves into my brain.  (Yes, ladies, I'm the exception to the rule, the guy who will remember anniversaries and birthdays!)

Speaking of birthdays, my nephew Shawn's is coming up, and I'll be going to his party on Sunday, September 8th.   There's a guitar/bass flea market in Rahway on Saturday, September 14th that I'm thinking about checking out.  I don't really need any new musical gear, I don't think, but... what the hell.  I'm starting to spend more time playing guitar again, and I want to get back to recording, too.  I'm also thinking about running in a 5K in Lyndhurst on Sunday, September 15th.  With any luck, I'll do a little better than Slime's Doug the Slug.  Feel free to come cheer me on, or assist the EMTs in identifying me.  Whatever.  If I do it, it will be my first 5K, and I'll have Laura to thank for getting me to even consider it.

Then there's Saturday, September 21st.  That was supposed to be Laura's and my wedding date, four days after what would've been our two-year anniversary together.  Clearly, we're not getting married now (though a few people seem to have missed the news, leading to painful awkwardness all around), but I think we're still getting together that day.  Circumstances have been difficult for both of us, but we still care for each other, and it'll be nice to spend the day with each other even if it's not the way we'd originally planned.  She's more a part of my life than Gina ever was.

Of course, I'm probably not going to see her for my birthday the following weekend (the 29th, in fact), and that is going to suck.  The week between our wedding day and my birthday was intended to be our honeymoon in Maine, and I haven't decided how I'm going to spend it now.  Regardless, I'm going to be well aware of the fact that I'll be alone when I wasn't supposed to be...

To try to keep it from being the worst birthday ever, I believe I'm going to buy myself a new toy, that Google Nexus 7 tablet I've wanted for a while.  Depending on when it becomes available, and how much petty cash I have left, I may snag the new iPhone, too.  (Note: this isn't a "hint" to throw me a big surprise party or buy me anything.  I've had my big parties, and I'm not especially materialistic.  It's just that I was expecting to be newly wed on my birthday, and instead I'll be... well, you know.)

Some days are better than others, although every day I come home from work, I still look for a car that I know isn't going to be there.  I'm not simply sitting around moping, however.  Sure, I'm doing a little moping, but I'm also coping, and I've been getting together with friends and family, playing some loud electric guitar (and jamming with my Not An Exit mate, Jon), making healthy fruit smoothies, enjoying "Under the Dome," walking, running on the treadmill, playing with the chinchilla and the cat (not at the same time!), working on Slime, and heading out to see live music (think I may go check out another band tonight, as a matter of fact).  I'm still doing things.  I'm just finding them a little less fun without someone with whom to share them.

Like Medjool dates.  They are really tasty.  Laura and I both like 'em very much, and she'd share them with me.  :-)

8:09 10-11-12

Fancy meeting you here...  Well, I've fallen behind a bit with the whole 'blogging thing, so I decided today would be a good day for a new post.

Less than two weeks ago, I turned 42 years old, and Laura gave me a silver guitar pick, inscribed with a line from John Lennon's "Imagine," as a pendant for the chain she'd given me earlier in the month for our one-year anniversary together.  We figured we'd mark this auspicious occasion (my birthday, not our anniversary) with a small and vaguely "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"-themed party.  (For those who are woefully unfamiliar with "HHGttG," 42 is determined by a supercomputer to be the answer to the "ultimate question" of "life, the universe, and everything.")  We ended up with 22 guests, less than my 40th but a few more than we'd originally planned on; still, a fun time was had by all, and when my peers had all left, I did two shots with Laura's twenty-something co-workers before they, too, took off.  I preferred the taste of the Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters I'd whipped up, but hey... I'm not old yet.  ;-)

Last weekend, we opted to celebrate Oktoberfest! We took the train to Hoboken early Saturday evening and walked to the Pilsener Haus Biergarten, where Viktoriya ably waited upon us and delivered two Maßes of beer, delicious beer:

That is a lot of beer

After we downed all that beer, as well as some pretzel dumplings to go with our wienerschnitzel and goulash (and Spätzle!), we took our leave and went giggling down the quiet streets of Hoboken toward Ben & Jerry's, where Laura had her dessert, and the Old German Bakery, where I had mine.  There was also a brief romp through a Halloween costume store...

My silly, silly girlfriend...

We've got three concerts coming up near the end of October: Regina Spektor at the Beacon Theatre, the Indigo Girls at the Wellmont Theatre in Montclair (we're going with their biggest fan, my friend Dawn), and Aimee Mann at Town Hall.  Three great acts in four days!  Aimee's video for "Charmer" is a lot of fun, too, and the one for "Labrador" looks awfully familiar...  After that, there's Halloween, and we're hoping to attend the Village Parade, which Laura's never seen, in costume.  November will see us going on a four-day trip to visit her dad and sister.  First time flying together, though we've been quite content and comfortable on four-hour road trips with each other...

I also intend to take part in NaNoWriMo next month.  I first heard about National Novel Writing Month last year and briefly entertained the idea, but I just wasn't organized enough to pull it off.  Can't say I'll definitely be successful this November, but I'm going to give it a determined effort; I've written short stories and poems in addition to essays and songs, so I think I can tackle a 50,000-word novel.  Right?  Hey, that's only 1,666 words a day, and this 'blog post has almost 700 already...  OK, so I'm feeling a little daunted now.

I'm in the process of revamping my Web site(s), too.  The UI should look nicer across different resolutions and orientations (browsers aren't such a consideration these days), and the Gallery... of Death! will finally be updated with all of 2012's pics.  Not sure when I'll be putting the new site up, though; I'd like to have it done before the end of October, but I've got music to work on, too.  I've got most of the music and some of the lyrics to a new song written, I just haven't had much time to finish, what with Slime and the party and work and all...

Two members of Pussy Riot are going to have plenty of time, two years in a penal colony (there's a joke in there somewhere...), in fact.  The third and oldest (at 30) convicted "hooligan," Yekaterina Samutsevich was released yesterday with a suspended sentence, because she'd been ejected from the cathedral by guards before she'd had a chance to get her guitar and join the "punk prayer."  Let's hope common sense prevails and Maria and Nadezhda are released soon, too.  Free speech and political protest are scarce commodities in Putin's Russia this Red October...

Episode VII: A New Beginning

November has been a busy month.  Laura moved in with me, and the two of us are still adjusting to life together, and cooking together, and all the little and big things that change when one lives with someone else.  So far, however, so good.  Very good, even, and I'm not anticipating any major changes to that wholesome goodness.  Well, OK, "wholesome" is relative...

The day after moving in with me, Laura got to meet my parents and my sister and her family (including my two nephews) for the first time at my sister's birthday party.  My love was a bit nervous about it, but all turned out well, as I'd expected, and everyone had a nice time there.

A week after she moved in, I had to leave Laura home alone for several hours while I went to an Ani DiFranco concert with Jenn, Rhonda, and Amanda.  It was a great show, and I'm looking forward to Ani's new album next year, but it felt good to get back home after the show.

A few days after that was Thanksgiving, and Laura and I went to my parents' house for dinner and had a great, overstuffed meal, to which we brought mashed white sweet potatoes, apple pie, and wine.  Laura got to meet one additional family member, Degas the degu, and was quite pleased to meet him.  It was also Laura's birthday, and mom and dad had a cake and presents for her.  The next day, we were taken out for dinner by Laura's mom and had another nice time.

On Saturday, it was my turn to meet some furry faces, as we went to central Pennsylvania to pick up the rest of Laura's stuff and to bring home Priscilla and Meguilla, our "chinchildren." (I managed to bang up both of my calves during a chase scene involving a botched leap into the back of the U-Haul van after we'd gotten home, but otherwise everyone made the trip just fine.)  Yes, Laura and I have a family of chinchillas now, and the girls are so cute that I had to share: ChinchillaCam is at http://www.andersensilva.com/chincam.php if you're interested!

Prissy is the bolder of the two

A busy month, but a good'un.  Let's see what December has in store...  <#

41 Today...

It's my birthday again. Seems to happen around this time every year... but I'm not tired of it. Not yet.

In fact, aside from the annoyance of being on-site in midtown east Manhattan for a frakked SQL database, rather than in my new office in Paramus, I'm feeling pretty good about this birthday. After having been diagnosed with a rare lymphocyte cancer in June, my dad is looking and feeling so much better, and his recent sixth chemotherapy session may turn out to be the last. I completed moving into a bigger office, with my own window to the outside, yesterday, though I need some art and photos to make it a bit homier. I finally dropped the MacBook Pro off at the Apple Store yesterday, and while it will be rough to be without it for a few days, it will be nice to again have a laptop that is completely operational, with all its circuits functioning perfectly.

Pam and I are together no longer, and the distance between us played a part in that. I have since found my world turned upside-down by a young woman named Laura from Staten Island, however, and we are dating quite happily. I'm even planning on putting a bit of her artwork and a photo or two of us into my new office (you can see said photos in the Gallery... of Death!), and we're celebrating my birthday tonight with some sushi. She likes to see and hear me play and is supportive of my music, and is inspiring me to create more. Laura makes me feel happier than I have in years, and that's just one of the reasons I love her.

So, while my birth certificate (which says that I was born in Paterson, NJ, and not Brazil or Kenya or anything like that) might show that I'm 41 today, inside I'm still much the giddy, goofy, and geeky 18-year old I've been for much of my life. Much as I did ten years ago, I rode the 32 bus into Manhattan today (though I got on in Lyndhurst today, not Nutley, and Alex, my Bus Buddy, no longer rides the DeCamp bus regularly, either), but my world is quite different than it was then. For my birthday, be happy for me. I am.