Six Months

Six months ago, on 11-11, I released my double album, I'll Live. While it hasn't been selling like hotcakes (although, really, do hotcakes sell that well?), I've been surprised by some positive, and unsolicited, comments about the music on it, and the "Dangerous Babies" video. Seems some people are even listening to my tunes on Spotify. O brave new world, that has such people in't...

I appreciate the comments, including constructive criticism, and certainly I'd appreciate making some income from more copies being sold, but in the end I put the collection of songs out there because it was something I needed to do. Although I still enjoy Joy in the New, my first album, it was lovely to get a chance to touch some of those songs up a bit, re-record one completely, and then add new material I'd written and recorded since then.

42 tracks is perhaps a mite insane (I think maybe only Minutemen's Double Nickels on the Dime had more), but my thinking was that this may stand as my definitive album, so I wanted it to contain pretty much everything: the different genres I've attempted, electric and acoustic and electronic, love songs and political songs and silly songs, my highs and lows. While I left off a number of tracks from Joy that I felt were dismissible, and of course the gabberish "Troll Doll" will probably never see an 'official' release (unless I redo it without all the Metallica samples, and where's the fun in that?), what I put out on I'll Live gives me a warm, fuzzy, sometimes distorted feeling.

I'm still not really planning on working on another album anytime soon. I'll admit to feeling an itch to write and record some new political protest songs, but even if I do get around to that, I don't know that I'd do an album's worth. Then again, when I first tried my hand at poetry, and then started matching some of those words to music, I never would've thought I'd end up writing over 60 songs and recording most of those.

Oh, if you wanted to sample, or even purchase, any of my music... you can do it here: https://andersensilva.hearnow.com/

And you ask me how I'm doin'...

On Brazil and Christmas and the Album You Haven't Been Waiting For

Groot says, "Happy holidays!" Groot also feels that this would be an ideal time of year for you to buy my new double album, I'll Live.

Groot made me take seven photos before finally being happy with one

Christmas isn't usually the happiest time of year for me, but family and friends help me stumble my way through it. Thanks in advance. I've written two songs, "Christmas Lonely" and "The Discontent of My Winter," about feeling cold and abandoned during the holidays... and they're both available on I'll Live, which you can purchase from iTunes or Google Play or CD Baby. Yes, that was a shameless self-promotion. I may have released the album due to my own creative urges, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't like to sell some copies and to have other people hear it. If you're interested in a CD copy, I've got a bunch, so let me know!

I recently spent three weeks in Brazil, and I have to say I had a blast, and I'm so, so glad I got to see and spend time with family on both my mom's and my dad's sides. Despite mom breaking her foot after we'd only been there a week (true story), she was only slowed down, not stopped; of course, she ended up staying in Curitiba and not coming to Rio for two days with me as planned... but I did enough walking and eating and drinking (and getting sunburned) for the two of us. I even made it to the top of Corcovado, though visibility was poor and so was my timing; I ended up just missing my flight back to Curitiba!

I was not ready to head back to the States after twenty days. My aunts and uncle and cousins and everyone were so good to us, in Curitiba and in Ponta Grossa, and there were still so many more I didn't get to see... and more caipirinhas to drink! But I suspect it won't take another 15 years for me to go back again, and while I probably won't get to stay as long next time, I can hopefully see some places I didn't get to see this time around.

Speaking of seeing, the pictures from Brazil are all uploaded to the Gallery... of Death! and there are a lot of them! (Sorry, Facebook, but I'm just not going to post all my pics with you.) OK, I've fallen behind on actually captioning the Gallery pics... but they start with the one of the Universidade do Paraná, captioned "Curitiba, Paraná, Brasil." Take a look!

Juneteenth III: Music

Got a lot to say this time around, so I've separated it into three 'blog posts: life, politics, and music. This is the music edition.

A new version of "Dangerous Babies" might be a great idea depending on how things turn out in November. I've been doing more work on the album, I'll Live, which I now intend to release in late summer or early fall. Still a little bit of recording to be done, but I'm happy with the way the songs have turned out thus far, and I really like my rendition of Greta's Unmentionables' "The Bite." Take a listen to parts of this song and three others below, if you like.




Maybe "The Bite" will have to be the single off the album, assuming I decide to release one. Heh. I like that it still sounds recognizably like the song I've worked out with Jon, Anthony, and Mike, but it's definitely got my own vibe to it. I also like that there'll be a GU song and a Not An Exit song (y'know, the eponymous one). If the Hellevators had ever written anything original (had we been capable of writing anything original), maybe I could've thrown that on there, too... The Unmentionables need to get ourselves back to the studio, to jam again but also to record some demos of "The Bite" and the few others we've been working out. And to come up with more! I'd love to do some gigs with Greta's Unmentionables.

I have no intention of changing my plans for I'll Live by writing any new political songs for it, but "Dangerous Babies" is relevant at any time, regardless of who's in the White House or Congress (I think). Ditto for "Human Thing." I do need to finish writing the lyrics to "They Might Be Roses," and then get it recorded. I think the last of the recording for the album should be done within the next month. I'm looking forward to being done with the process as much as I am to having a new album. As I've said before, I think I may retire the idea of recording full-length albums after this, and just put out the occasional single or EP if new music comes to me...

Although I may do a shorter album (or longer EP) towards the end of this year or the start of the next, featuring stripped down and/or remixed versions of some of the I'll Live songs. That'd give me the opportunity to revamp "Dangerous Babies" for the next occupant of the Ova Office. Heh. We'll see. As always, please feel free to comment on anything or everything.

I Don't Want to Sail with This Ship of Fools

Save me from tomorrow... What, no one remembers World Party?

I've been suffering from a rare, lengthy bout of insomnia since the 20th. To paraphrase U2, some nights are better than others (I actually managed a good sleep this past Tuesday night), but generally I've been slow to fall asleep and have woken up several times for way too long. I'm normally out in five minutes and don't wake until it's time to wake, so this has been, well, a rude awakening. Sorry, had to.

I'm more tired than I look, and that's sayin' something

Along with suggesting possible cures (drinking warm milk or chamomile tea or whiskey, ZzzQuil, reading, placing a glass of water under the bed, listening to soothing music), most everyone has been asking whether it's stress. While it certainly makes sense as a cause, I haven't been aware of feeling especially stressed lately... but there have been some involved issues at work, and the anniversary of my proposal to Laura just passed (I know, I know, but it's hard not to think about it when I did it on St. Patrick's Day), and my self-imposed release date for the album is looming.

That last one got me thinking. Again, I haven't been consciously stressing about it, but because I announced I'd be releasing I'll Live this spring, there are now less than three months to make that happen. It's still achievable, really, but it wouldn't be easy, and I don't think I want to put that kind of pressure on myself. Don't get me wrong: I've been working on it and will continue to do so (I finished up the music to "Let Me" last weekend and will hopefully record the vocals this weekend, which will leave seven more songs to finish up), and it's as important to me as ever to get this work done. If trying to finish it in time to get it out by June 21st is contributing to my issues, however, then I need to loosen the reins a bit.

I'm thinking that late summer / early fall is a more realistic timeframe. Even if my birthday arrives and I haven't yet released I'll Live... I'll live. It's not exactly like you frakkers are clamorin' for it, anyway... heh. My state of mind is precarious enough as it is without adding sleep deprivation to the mix, so we're just going to back away from that precipice slowly.

"Nobody ever hears him

     Or the sounds he appears to make,

 And he never seems to notice..."

I'll Live

Time to dust off "Christmas Lonely," but I have newer and older songs to which you should listen as well. I've finally decided to call the next album I'll Live, and I've posted ten of the tracks (including that holiday song) to SoundCloud, Bandcamp, and of course ReverbNation.

A number of songs from Joy in the New will be included on the new release, though they'll all be getting a fresh mixing and mastering. A few of my already-recorded tracks are benefiting from vocal and/or instrumental tweaks; for instance, "Heavywait" finally sounds right. And then there are the new ones, such as the title track. I don't expect I'll be posting any more songs from the album until it's ready for release (I'm thinking April), but you never know.

The album was going to be called Tougher Than Flannel for years, and then I abruptly started considering I Can't Possibly Give More Than I Can Give early this year. That eventually gave way to The Unfortunate Truth (from a line in "I'll Live"), which jockeyed for position with Signifying Nothing. When I began thinking in terms of including a lot of the older material and making it a double album, I even considered using both names. In the end, though, I think I'll Live is the title it should've had all along.

This probably won't be the album art, though, just a temp

The song "I'll Live" is influenced, at least lyrically, by the Who's late bass player, John Entwistle, and the dark, sometimes macabre sense of humor he often showed in his songwriting. Songs like the Who's "My Wife" and "Trick of the Light," or his solo "I Believe in Everything," inspired me to write my own song about a guy having a string of really bad luck, for whom "I'll live" is not an affirmation but a curse.

For me, though, it feels like an exclamation of defiance. That's right, I'll live! So there! Heh-heh. I hope you will, too, and I hope you'll give my tunes a listen and give me your thoughts. Later.

Nah... No WriMo

I wrote the lyrics to three songs today. I opted against trying to do NaNoWriMo this year, because frankly I've got enough on my plate without stressing myself about writing 1700 words a day for the month of November. I'd still like to try my hand at writing a novel, and I've got an idea about taking some of my previous ideas and putting them together with an old short story idea; I don't know if I'm going to attempt this for the next NaNoWriMo, or just do it at my own pace...

...but right now, the album is my creative focus, and so I finally sat down and wrote "Morning, Doves" and "A Blurb" and "A Blur" today. The first was inspired by the loss of a friend (in that most final sense) as well as the end of a romance; the second and third are intended to bookmark the album as its opening and closing tracks respectively, and were inspired by my quote: "Better that your life be a blur than a blurb." I added a few more lines to a fourth song, "They Might Be Roses," too, but that one's not quite done yet, and I'm not sure if it's going to be on the album anyway. Perhaps it will; that would bring me to 42 tracks, and we all know how relevant that number is.

Yes, this thing is going to be a bit gargantuan. I'm planning on using a number of the songs from Joy in the New (remixed and mastered), a number of the songs I've recorded since then, and ten or so that I have yet to record. I've been working on the remixing, and I was quite happy to find the original multitrack recording of "Hole in the Wall," which I'd thought I'd overwritten well over a decade ago. I've also been working on demoing and recording some of the new stuff.

I haven't quite settled on the album title yet, but I may go with The Unfortunate Truth, Signifying Nothing. A reference to myself, a reference to Shakespeare... what's not to like?

I'll tell you what's not to like: Daesh. Fuck Daesh. I don't have very positive feelings for anyone who lets them win their games and gives them what they're after, either. Islam is not at war with the rest of the world, and refugees fleeing from death and destruction are certainly not at war with the rest of the world. It's Daesh, the bigots and sowers of discord, who want to kill anyone who doesn't think exactly like them, and anyone like that deserves our contempt, all of our contempt.

Consider Me Gone...ish

You will not see me much on Facebook / Twitter / Google+ anymore. Read on if you want to know why...

When I started creating accounts on various social networks back around 2006, I was thinking mostly in terms of helping to promote my music. Nine years later, my pictures and snarky comments generate some online interest, but gods forbid I post something about my music... While a few of you do seem to have read my last 'blog post, about the next album, no one had anything to say about it at all. Fine. I have a finite amount of energy, and I've decided it can be put to better use working on the album, and promoting the album and my music in general, than in trading in likes and favorites and pluses. While I appreciate the friends and followers, I need to focus on getting more fans, which most of the friends and followers don't seem to be. And frankly, social media is starting to drain me.

I was going to rant about the level of political "discourse" online (mostly insults and/or threats, because of course the people who don't agree with you have to be stupid, or evil, or both), and about how people are mangling the English language more and more in their tweets and status updates and posts (and even allegedly professional articles), and about how I feel like I've taken a half-step back toward depression just lately... but it's OK. I've said most of it before, you most likely don't want to hear it, and, in the words of Andersen Silva, "The unfortunate truth is that I'll live."

And in the words of Gordon Sumner, aka Sting, "After today, consider me gone." I'm not deactivating any of my accounts, and I'm not saying I'll never look at my Facebook Wall or personal Twitter timeline again. Say something to me directly on social media, and I'll probably respond. I won't be posting those pictures and snarky comments for a while, though. Well, the pictures always get added to the Gallery... of Death! so you can visit there to see 'em. But I think I need some more time away, for my tunes and my sanity. I have to prioritize, and the pictures of your cats and your guns and your meals, the posts about Christie and Obama and Trump and Bernie and Hillary and Paul, the ridiculous and obviously untrue "news" articles... in the words of Sweet Brown, "Ain't nobody got time for that."

My music means something to me. I'd like to think that it means something to someone else out there, too, maybe even some of the people who actually know me, but even if it doesn't, I have to get it out and at least try to get other people to listen, and tell me what they think. It's not about becoming famous, or making money, or earning the respect of any community. This is something I need to do for myself, and (as with all too many things these days) by myself. Like it or not, I'm an artist. Feedback, constructive criticism, encouragement, a dollar... all would be welcomed, but I'm doing this regardless. At the end of this month, I'm turning 45, and I'm determined to have the new album (probably going to be a double) released before I hit 46.

So, no, you won't see much of me on Plusbook or Twitgle or Faceter, other than posts about working on the album and playing guitar. You know where to find me if you really want to. I'm sure I'll be back eventually, but for now, after today... after today... consider me gone.

My Tunes

The itch to release new music has turned into a fire. After years of sporadically recording songs just to get them done, I realize I need to 'drop' a new album, for my own sake. Of course, I'd like it if you wanted to hear it, too.

Even before I finally finished and released Joy in the New in 2004, I had additional songs written, and several months later I'd begun recording again. The goal was to put out a second album, to be called Tougher Than Flannel, within two or three years. I lost momentum, and a little more of my sanity, however, and as the years passed, I still wrote the occasional song, and recorded as the muse dictated, but the idea of "the album" seemed distant and vague, and eventually I lost whatever commitment to it I might've had.

In late 2014/early 2015, after I recorded "Everything's Different Now" and made my first video, I started thinking in terms of completing an album again. Though the title Tougher Than Flannel still gets a grin out of me, I felt like the songs were generally going to be a bit more somber and dark than I'd originally been anticipating, and I decided I'd name the collection I Can't Possibly Give More Than I Can Give instead. Kind of a throwing up of hands in resignation and also a poke at those who exhort you to "give 110%!"

Lately, however, I've been rethinking the whole idea. I'm starting to feel this next release will be my last in "album" form. I will probably continue to record, but I think it would make more sense to put out the occasional EP with three to six songs on it than to agonize over larger sets of songs, especially when I don't have a fanbase clamoring for them.

With that in mind, I started considering the songs I've recorded thus far, both the new ones and the ones on Joy. There are some that I really enjoy and think are great, but others that frankly need either more work or discarding.

So... what I believe I'm going to do is take the best of the Joy songs and the newer material, re-record some bits where I feel it's warranted, finish another song or two, put more effort into mixing it all better (and actually try my hand at mastering, now that I've got software for that sort of thing)... and put it out as a new, defining album. Possibly a double album, if I feel there are enough good songs to justify it.

I have yet to sit down and cull the material into a list. (As you may have heard, I did some tinkering with my MacBook Pro's disk partitions the other night, and rendered it unbootable for a few days.) I'm going to get to that shortly, though. I've also changed my mind on a title again.

Before I'd completed Joy and settled on its title, I'd contemplated several options, one of which was Straight Outta Nutley (where I lived while some of the tracks were being recorded). I know the "straight outta" thing is simultaneously popular and reviled right now, but no, I'm not going to call it Straight Outta Lyndhurst. Go ahead, sigh in relief... I'm leaning heavily towards The Unfortunate Truth, a line from "I'll Live" (which will definitely be included). I also like Signifying Nothing, however (and award yourself 17 points if you get the reference). If I do end up making it a double album, I could conceivably use both in a double name... we'll see.

I was hoping to complete the album before the end of 2015, but I'm going to shoot for having it released by the first quarter of 2016; if it's ready before then, so much the better, but I'd rather not rush myself. I may set up a GoFundMe with a modest goal, $1000 or so, where every donation of $10 or more will get a copy of the album. Haven't really made a decision on that yet, but if I do it, it's going to be to help with the costs of getting CDs (and maybe posters or buttons or something... maybe even some vinyl?) made, not for pocket money.

That's my story. What say you? I'd love to hear what you think about me putting out a new album, my title ideas, any of my particular songs or my music in general... Please let me know, thanks!