Thursday, July 31, 2014


You may not understand, and you may not agree, but I hope you can accept.

365 days ago now, I was on a Megabus to New York from Pennsylvania, where I'd helped my ex-fiancĂ©e Laura move. My life then was not what I'd expected it to be a year prior, any more than my life today is what I expected it to be then. It's been a rough twelve months, and while I have had some fun and happy times, I've also endured some of the darkest moments of my life.

Laura's decision, several weeks after that, that it would be better for us not to stay in touch only ripped open the still-raw wound again, but after she picked up the last of her things in October, we both honored that decision. I was, therefore, very surprised to get a message from her a few weeks ago, a message that began with an apology.

We've agreed that we'd both like to try to become friends again, without things becoming too awkward or painful between us, and we've communicated a few times since. Yes, she did cause me a lot of pain, and I haven't forgotten that (nor can I)... but I do believe that she didn't do so maliciously, and that she truly is sorry for hurting me, and that working out exactly what happened and why can help us both to heal. She was my best friend for almost two years, and I can't forget that, either.

I struggled with the decision to publicize our cautious rapprochement. I know that some of the few people who care will disapprove, and all of them will warn me to be careful. I also know that I know Laura better than any of them do, even if I underestimated the challenges when we started our relationship almost three years ago. I don't intend to get hurt again, but if being friends to each other and talking can get us both past an emotional hurdle or two, then I'm all for it. Life's too short to spend carrying around anger, grief, sorrow, fear, regret, etc. for any appreciable length of time.

You may not understand, and you may not agree, but I hope you can accept. This sentence should be the basis of relations between any two people or groups of people... don'tcha think?


  1. I think google just ate my comment, but apologies if it posts twice.

    I just said that I don't think this is a bad idea at all. I think it could be a very good thing for both of you, and I really hope that it is. But I'll still warn you to be careful and to take care of yourself, because I care about you. Good luck to you.

    1. Thank you, and duly noted. I do intend to take care of myself (someone has to), but I also intend to see if we can maybe help each other get past some hurt.